Today is the kind of day where it feels difficult to do this. Where I have to kind of drag myself to sit here and think about big things. These are the kind of days I'd usually spend curled up with a turn-based tactical RPG or a 4X title and an audiobook or series of podcasts. And I might do that, once I've given some effort to either speaking for/about Rob.
And, who knows, maybe he'll actually feel talkative by the time I'm done with this Log.
You know, it's frustrating. Here I am, getting all emotionally amped up to be done with this leg of the journey, and he's started dragging his feet again. So I figured – maybe it's an effort to get him working again, but I may as well talk to you about it. That's what this line of communication is for, right?
He is concerned that he has not laid enough of the framework of this historical world that he lives in for his ending to justify the beginning of this Book. That's a dangerous thing to admit out loud. Johnny Depp a la Stephen King already told us: the only thing that matters is the ending. Again, to quote from that movie, Rob's reticence to get to it should not be a counter-indicator. This one is very good.
Now, whether his delivery is is another story altogether.
We have two more huge scenes for you. The next chapter is going to be a multi-parter, and it's a banger. My favorite part of the story, personally, for sure. It feels like what everything has been building to. And then there's the actual ending – the thing that everything actually has been building to.
It's good fun.
But Rob worries. It's kind of what he does.
He is concerned that he will lose credibility if between putting this on the internet and recording it changes are made. So he wants to get it all perfect, all in one take. We've tried just about everything. Long takes. Short takes. Long days of intermittent short takes. Short days of long takes. Short days of short takes. Long days of no takes. But it's not like this isn't who he is in the story, too.
I really feel for Peitho. Not only can Rob not decide where he wants to eat, he can't decide whether he's ever going to eat again.
It's all very dramatic. And it can really get under my skin sometimes.
This is where a savvy and perhaps less self-aware writer would suggest that you could get him interested in telling the story with absolutely no irony whatsoever. Or at least no awareness whatsoever.
And I think that segues nicely into really what I think I wanted to talk about today. Monetization.
I hate the idea of monetization. And this thing Rob and I are making.... There is no way to reconcile selling adspace with the things he and I personally believe. And I'm not willing to make the sacrifices to my personality necessary to produce under the guise of selling another person's product.
When I was a child, my father said that if I wanted to beat the man I had to become the man, then beat him at his own game. I think that most people think that way. It's a reasonable way to think. When I'm boss, I'll.... blank. You do it when you're a kid, too. When I have kids, I won't make them eat their vegetables. That sort of thing. Fantasization is a great and wonderful thing that we humans do.
If it weren't for your interest in your own fantasies, you would very likely not be interested in what is probably mine. My fantasy is that we lived in a world where I didn't have to talk about how I'm going to make a living at this thing I'm doing. And that's where my father was wrong.
You don't become the man to defeat the man. Just as feminists have not defeated the patriarchy by becoming patriarchs. You defeat the man by being better. By competing at a higher level.
So I'm going to make a pledge to you, here. You'll never see an AdSense ad on my work related to Robert Longshore. Not in my name. Not in Rob's name. Not in a girlfriend's or a conspirator's name.
The UFO community are dealing with this right now: some bigwig leaves a government organization, joins a team to “disclose” things, then leaves that team because they're too interested in “entertainment”, then immediately moves to publish a book. And then there's the whole Anjali situation. I don't know, I find it all so tedious and obvious.
As humans, we have basic needs. Food, shelter, water, sanitation, sex, right?
These things I'm talking about, be they the inner workings of my mind and soul, the Creative Process, history, conspiracies not just to control the world but which actively and actually do— These things I'm talking about all exist within a larger economy. You can't be a professional writer and not make a living from it, right? And you can't make a living if you aren't saying things people want to hear – because people do not buy enough of your books to keep you well-fed and adequately sheltered because they hate the things you say and want to use your work for some performative demonstration of their disgust. Like, people aren't throwing their underwear at musicians because they hate the sounds they're making, right?
The point is that the world is filled with fraudulent people. From top to bottom of every industry – from the CEO to the temporariest holiday seasonal employees of Wal-Mart, every stratum of that corporation is overflooded with fraudulent people. If I am going to stand here on my digital soapbox and say that I am not – that Robert and I are not – fraudulent, then I can't also knowingly play a game meant to defraud my audience. There may be fewer than ten of you now, so this may sound like an easy decision.
But it's a decision I've thought about for a long time. Independent creative work stops being nearly as creative once the work stops being truly independent. I asked the question on Twitter and didn't get a response. And I get it, Twitter isn't the place to ask deep questions. I can all but guarantee that whoever you are reading this, you don't want your friends to know. Your “friends”.
It would be a whole thing if they thought you were insane, too.
It actually isn't even my idea. Of course I want to make money at this. Of course I do. Whose dream as a writer isn't to be the next Stephen King? Who doesn't want every word they put on the page to make its way to a screen somewhere and in front of audiences of billions?
It was Rob's idea. In fact, it's one of Rob's demands. And he wants it completely open source.
So no copyright.
It's like a challenge, isn't it? It's like System of a Down saying Steal This Album.
Neither do I want to be that guy who is constantly reminding his audience about his patreon, etc. accounts. Buy me a cup of coffee? Whatever.
It's a matter of principle, right? If we're going to work for the paycheck, we aren't doing the work – we're waiting for the pay. That's not how I have ever lived. I have straight walked away from jobs because I was only there waiting to get paid. If I'm going to work, it has to be to do the work well. So we're going to do this as well as we can.
And if you want to throw some coins in my jar to help me build a studio and do all those things that every startup has to figure out, awesome. If not, that's awesome, too. It's cheesy, and I overshare anyway – I could title this Oversharing With V – but my goal is to someday make enough money at this that I can start subscribing to the Patreons of the creators I love.
Talk about redistributing the wealth.
But I genuinely believe the ridiculous bullshit I say here. It really is redistributing wealth – not just to me, in my mind, but in reality. Everything you buy anywhere you buy it is taking your wealth and redistributing it. We talk big about Socialism and about Revolution and about the evils of Capitalism. But the thing we don't do enough of is finding ways to give our money to people who aren't A) going to hoard it or B) going to turn around and give that money to a mega-corporation.
You want to know something else I genuinely believe? Truly? Radically, I believe that if we stopped spending our money on mega-corps they'd go away. And we'd actually see the change(s) we want to see in the word.
Be the change you want to see.
That's another quote I repeat in my head like a mantra. Well, I want to see people make the art they aren't seeing in the world around them. Stop bitching and make it yourself. And if you can't, learn as much as you can about the topic so you can be an accurate critic. So here I am.
I'm doing this for free and plan to continue doing it that way until I can't anymore – and then stopping. I'm really not sure what I would offer as far as patreon rewards, but it's something I'm planning on figuring out someday. Maybe I move this whole endeavor over to Amazon and self-publish it with a pay-what-you-want tag when we start audio production. Who knows.
Hit me up if you have ideas. It's kind of my dream to turn this thing into a collaborative super-project. Only time will tell. But I think it is possible to change the world. And the first step is to stop people being addicted to giving their money to people who will use it to hurt them.
That doesn't mean giving it to me.
But maybe it will someday.
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