Dissatisfied, so to speak, I determined to draw again.
Putting my mind in a sort of temporary Zen Space, I cleared my head of all thought – wiped away all want and desire, but most specifically any questions for the Cards. I drew with the same three-card setup.
For this one, I got The High Priestess, Seven of Swords, and Reversed Two of Wands.
For these I took my notes differently. Let's be real: It was at this point that I realized I was having an experience I should record. But I was also getting bored with the walls of text that are the interpretations of these cards. I can imagine you know something of what I'm feeling after six posts of nothing but crenelated walls and towers to the tune of nearly 13,000 words.
I didn't take anything from the descriptions of the cards themselves. Whether I didn't see anything in them or what I was seeing was too obvious, I'm not sure. It's been two weeks, and I can't remember what I ate three days ago. But I know that the message was making itself loud and clear before I'd made it to the second card.
The first card, then – The High Priestess.
The High Priestess means that a new understanding of some sort is coming. That's my paraphrasation. Now quoting:
(All of these interpretations are from Labyrinthos.com)
The High Priestess in a love tarot reading can signal almost imperceptible and unconscious changes in one's emotional state. A calm surface can hide intense emotions, and even seemingly simple dates can turn into raging passions. The High Priestess tarot love meaning suggests that one needs patience and trust for your intuition. Be honest with others and yourself and let what is hidden come to the surface.
When I read that, I initially wanted to dismiss it. I wasn't doing a love reading. But neither did I ask a specific question, so I figured maybe it was best to let my keyword freesociation keep working its magick. And these two highlighted passages, if nothing else, typify how I would self-identify or self-report my perceptions of my past self and my relationship with work in general and my work specifically in the past. This is how Meyers-Briggs personality quizzes work, and no one thinks they're anything but magical thinking, so I must be on the right track.
In a relationship, the High Priestess shows increasing intimacy and openness. In a love tarot reading, this card signals that honesty is essential to making your relationship as strong as it can be.
I read that and I was floored.
You'd think this would be talking to me about my girlfriend. But I know exactly who the goddess is talking to me about. Rob.
He and I haven't been on the best of terms, lately. First of all, he isn't exactly a chatty Kathy over here. Second, I've been pretty negligent in telling his story. We're so very close to the end. And I'm probably not letting us finish it for a myriad or reasons, none less than because I'm afraid. But I'm also mildly annoyed with Rob – and that's a me problem for another post. Or maybe it's not? Maybe I should explain. Because the card wants me talking about it.
He's being evasive. There's something he thinks I can't understand, or I'm not asking the right questions, because he's trying to skip over days and maybe weeks of time because he says they don't matter. Well, they matter to me. And that makes me second guess the whole endeavor.
But that's how Rob is and that's how I am, and I need to just work through it. We need to just work though it. And that's what this card is telling me – that this is where we have been up to the point of the Reading.
When it comes to your career, the High Priestess may signal a period of education or higher training. If you're in a creative field, this card also can suggest new inspiration coming into your work. When making big choices about your future career or projects, the High Priestess also suggests relying on your gut instincts. There's likely a lot of information there that will aid you. At times, this card can also signal the appearance of a mentor or guide that can help you progress further in your work.
And this is everything I have been wanting to happen. Again, just like drawing The Magician, drawing The High Priestess is exactly the kind of thing a person like me wants to draw. It's the kind of message we want to receive. For some people like me, it's enough to keep them doing the potentially insane thing they're doing that's going to net them riches and fame.
So I naturally resist it.
Just like you naturally resist any new information about yourself. Whenever anyone observes anything about us, our first inclination is to be suspicious of it; especially if it's unflattering.
Which makes me laugh. Because it's been two weeks since I did this drawing – and it's speaking as much to me now as it did then. Maybe more, actually.
You ready for the obligatory midway detour?
Time is irrelevant in magick. Time is, really, irrelevant to Reality.
There is no past; there is no future. Everything that is exists in a single permanent state of Now. Time as such is something which our human minds evolved the capability to measure and understand in complex ways no other Earth animal that I am aware of has. And with that, very probably, figured out everything else it needed to in order to become the most dominant species on the planet.
But when we look out in scale from the human lifespan, the timespan of the perception of a rock is infinitely, inconceivably longer. Again by orders of magnitude more for a planet, and again a galaxy – a universe. Time effectively does not move for the planet Earth out in space except in massive, usually catastrophic events.
You can measure this same token backward if you consider the life of a rat or of a housefly, of a bacterial cluster, of an oxygen molecule.
As above so below.
Let me give you a better and more specific example of the kind of Time Magick I'm talking about with the wondrous nature of our universe: When you see a star in the sky, the photons from that star have traveled an impossible span of potentially millions of Earth's years to meet your eye and be seen – at the highest of all possible speeds; the cosmic speed limit, some physicists call it something like. But. If your eye wasn't in that exact spot in the exact time those photons passed through its lens, signaling to your brain that there is a star there – that is, a giant ball of fire so far away the numbers stop making sense— If you were not there to measure those protons by seeing them, they would not have made the journey at all. A happenstance that spans the distance of inconceivable time and space. Without your consciousness, your ability to see and perceive those stars, they would not exist at all. The process of infinite billions of years that led to that photon leaving that star to be seen by your eye would never have happened if you didn't make all the choices you made to put yourself in position to see it.
I think that's miraculous.
Before I wrote this piece, I decided that I would make you all aware of the WIPs I've been sitting on for this blog. Probably as much to prove that even when I'm not working I'm working, but I don't think it had anything to do with that. It has to do with....
I'm reading Ray Bradbury's Zen in the Art of Writing. It's only a three-hour book, but for whatever reason I'm sitting on the end. He writes a lot about the magick of circumstance that led to his work being published and his name becoming as famous as it has. With that context in mind, when I read that description of the High Priestess, I see something other than what I saw two weeks ago.
I see the same message – but I also see that it was not being sent to me for then but instead for now. What I wrote today and will post tomorrow, Thoughts Unifis, was the beginning, the first real attempt, at showing the path that brought me to where I am in my thinking in a real way. And the way I was trying to do that was by showing how I rely on my gut instincts, analyzing the world around me for information that will aid me. But really what it was about is how I'm crying out for mentorship. If it's not clear, that's the last part of the High Priestess interpretation and how I see it reflected as a cycle in my life.
I can see that in nearly everything I think in the Twitterspace. That's probably what To Block or Not to Block was about, if I'm being honest with myself.
The High Priestess card is a symbol for spiritual enlightenment, inner illumination, divine knowledge, and wisdom. Both today and two weeks ago when I drew it, its Past position is important.
Creatively today, I wrote about my past; I wrote about one of the first moments I had deep and meaningful spiritual illumination – where I received divine knowledge and wisdom. I didn't finish it. I got... Should I do this? I got discouraged because that story isn't about how I learned to identify my walls and how many – that is, how many concentric rings of defenses have I built around the citadel of my secret soul. It isn't about how I learned to build doors into those walls, or even how I came to the conclusion that I needed to leave my heart exposed to the world if I were ever going to find love and acceptance.
That story is about how I've forgotten to do those things. It's about how I've built up incredibly strong, tall and dense walls – the kinds of walls that Constantinople was famous for. But every wall has its cannon. And the Turks of my Life have brought my heart to rubble.
But that's in the Past position.
I am a person who used to transform spiritually frequently. I was a person who sought it out, who left my eyes open to the stars rather than closed, flinching against attacks.
And that's enough about the High Priestess card and how it affected me for one post. I'll pick back up with the Seven of Swords next time.
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