We turn now to the Present position and the Seven of Swords. This one is going to be a little bit different from the last one - which was a little different from the six before it.. Here are my notes - and some real-time reactions to them as I made my tenth or eleventh pass through them two days ago, now:
(Quotations from Labyrinthos.com)
You may be tempted to sneak away from somewhere [like Twitter and my blog and all my creative endeavors and my life and my relationships], indicating a situation that is no longer working as expected. Instead of dealing with it, you choose to sneak away and hope that you will go unnoticed. [I have often wondered whether my past, forfeited attempts at “art” as such have left people wondering why I quit and wanting more]. Perhaps you were hoping that this issue would just resolve itself over time, and you've neglected it – leaving it to only grow and get worse. [That could be a definition for addiction or addictive personality-type behavior, really. That's my move, yo! For everything. Wait until the pile of problems is too huge to ignore, then get overwhelmed by it immediately and run the Hell away! Usually to bigger, but more novel in that they're different but not-unrelated, problems. Like from Genoa to Venice, come to think of it.]
The big question, when looking at the Seven of Swords, is whether escaping will solve this problem that you are facing. While you might be thinking that you have gotten away, you discover that the situation has cornered you and you are found out as you are trying to escape. [Bruh. That is the cycle of my life in this very real and present moment.]
There are instances when the Seven of Swords may indicate the willingness to go solo. You may have the urge to explore and discover some things on your own. [Dude. All November I tried to write for myself, including prose fiction that has nothing to do with Rob or any of the topics of this blog. Well... that's not true. Because the PLogs are literally about any and everything, so— But, yeah, that was not working as an approach either to my psychosis or my Creative Illnesses.] This can be an effective approach if you want to assert your independence and bypass group agreement. The Seven of Swords symbolism may be encouraging you to go on this path; [It's... interesting. I've been thinking a lot about government. Maybe it's Rob in my head thinking the thoughts he should have had when he was 25 and materially had a chance to change what the future has become, but it's probably my own obsession with insoluble problems. Asserting one's independence and bypassing group agreement is something like the definition of monarchy, of government by fiat. It's something like the entire point of hermitage, and it's something like why religious organizations develop hierarchies - why artists can develop very powerful and influential fan followings. Which is all something I think about a lot. I think about the efficacy of government as it is, but really I think about what might come next, after monarchy-turned-representative democracies.] sometimes innovation comes from a rogue genius. [Hah. Yeah, of course that's how this paragraph would end, after I'm all hyped up to be an independent agent in a world of flocks of misguided people. But of course I would love seeing that phrase, rogue genius - a shaman - the intellectually afflicted. It absolutely would bring home to me what I want the card to mean as real and something more than what I am motivated to reason it to be.]
Have we done enough of these together that you see that this is a description of Intellectual Illness?
Have I defined it for you, yet?
The Seven of Swords can also indicate that people are talking shit about you. Which is funny – because that's what To Block or Not to Block was about – why I wrote it in the first place was because I felt like I was being shit-talked and wanted to take control of how I... am perceived is what I want to say, but I am aware that how I am perceived is almost entirely outside my control (largely because of the very same proclivity toward shit talking I'm mansplaining) and what I mean is that I want to get my perspective on the record.
Because, as much of our experience on a day to day, to say nothing of a minute to minute, level is increasingly ours to control, the only thing about how we are perceived which we can actually control is how we respond to negative stimuli. Not how our responses to them are perceived.
And it only takes one bad day - it only takes one moment to decide that enough is enough and make a change.
The Seven of Swords can also mean that someone is attempting to take credit for your work. Which as I first read, I felt a cold hand was passing down my back. Not a cold chill. Something much more intimate. Just the night before, I fell asleep thinking about what I would do if someone tried to steal Rob and my work since I haven't Copyrighted it and probably never will. Bully to them. If I've created an “Intellectual Property” worth stealing, bully to the thief if they can make a profit off it where I haven't – that's what I say.
There's a way that we could look at this, that you, specifically, could look at this, and come to the conclusion that I'm just incapable of critical thinking. I'm so confused in magickal thinking, cognitive bias, motivated reasoning, and the Dunning-Kreuger Effect that my THC-addled brain is just working itself in futile circles.
Probably, actually.
But there's another way that we could look at this and we could see that my goddess – that my Life as such – is trying to teach me a lesson across times and between spaces.
But we discussed that last time.
Sometimes innovation really does comes from rogue genius.
This article feels like a personal attack.
(That's a joke. I was trying to remember the name of the Dunning-Kruger Effect, and this draft was originally a part of Part 7, so I'd planned to end here. A little peek behind the curtain.)
This card feels so obvious to me, and I already padded last post to talk about the things that were on my mind irrespective of their time and place. (Can you see why this process can be confusing? I already struggle to conceptualize the future and form memories about the past; this whole thing is a tangled psychological mess for me. But I always have liked playing with rope and string, tangling it and untangling it as I tie it in knots of greater or lesser artistry. So... How about we go to the last card and move this sucker along, what do you say?)
Let's just let this one be half the length of the others. Sometimes work is done quickly and easily. Sometimes it's not. I'll save these 1000 words for another post, when I need them most, maybe. (Imagine the gleeful devil emoji, here, if you want.)
Because I'm not really ready to talk about what I'm working myself up to talk about in this piece. The Cards are talking to me about my Work. So let's get to what else they have to say and see if we can't figure out what to do with it on the other side.
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